Getting A Little Smashed
by Xen Kenshin
Summary: Luigi is depressed after a match and sits alone in the Smash Mansion's bar sulking in his own pity. However, his whole night gets changed with the arrival of a certain bounty hunter... Rated for slight alcohol use and suggestive themes. A Must Read.


A LITTLE SMASHED

_Let it be known that I, Xen Kenshin, am an avid fan of Luigi! Granted, he has almost always been served the short end of the stick, (much like Street Fighter, another thing I am a fan of, when it comes to live action movies)but by golly gosh darn it, the last straw has been drawn and torn!_

_I was reading an internet comic that goes by the name of "It Sucks To Be Weegie!"And in one issue, Luigi is walking alongside Nintendo Superstar Link from the Legend of Zelda Series. Luigi describes his bad luck with relationships and how only men seem interested in him (Luigi himself is heterosexual, thus the problem) and goes to explain a recent escapade. This is where I literally cried for Luigi._

_He explains to Link that a bounty hunter clad in orange armor with a helmet that he couldn't see through hit on him, offering to give him the 'best night of his life'. Link realizes that Luigi had just turned down a night with Samus Aran saying he doesn't swing that way' Luigi notices the mortified expression on Link's face and asks him what's wrong. Link replies by saying: "Nothing. Not a gosh-darn thing. Say, you wanna come over and cry yourself to sleep on my couch for no, reason whatsoever?" (Insert my own tears here)_

_So, in order to show my admiration and support for Luigi, to address other fans to do the same, and (hopefully) restore Link's lost honor for Luigi I am writing this fan fiction! By gum, it's time Luigi gets some love around here!_

A LITTLE SMASHED

_One last thing: I do not own Nintendo in any way, shape or form; that includes its characters, symbols, icons, stock etc… Nor do I own or have any affiliation with those who created the internet comic "It Sucks To Be Weegie!"_

Luigi sighed as he held the ice bag to his head. He had just completed the One Hundred Man Brawl as an attempt to beat his older brother's record. Actually, Mario was only number five in the ranking. He wanted to top Fox, C. Falcon and Meta-knight and become number one. But once his damage hit three digits halfway through the match, he knew his luck was running dry.

"Bar keep," Luigi called the Smash mansion servant over to him. "Let'sa hurry up with-a my drink." The servant nodded before going back to whatever mindless task he had been doing before, almost ignoring Luigi all together. Luigi groaned; had he been in a better condition he would have hopped over this counter and ordered up a serving of kick- The stool next to him squeaked.

His malicious train of thought was derailed as he turned his head ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of a two tone blue space suit. "Oh, hello-a Ms. Aran." Luigi greeted her formally as he turned to fully face her. He gasped inwardly as he noticed the several bandages along various parts of her body. "Hello Luigi," she replied with a bit of effort. "Didn't see you there."

Luigi was not surprised. Her right eye was a victim amongst her injuries, it was covered by a black patch, and Luigi happened to be on her right. He also noticed that she had an ice bag of her own tied down to her head, since both of her shoulders could not go past ninety degrees. The pain Luigi felt subsided; who, or what, could have done this to such a sweet woman? "Ms. Aran-" "Please," Samus cut him off. "Stop being so formal. Just call me Samus." "Sure-a thing." Luigi spoke lowly. Samus knocked on the bar counter and immediately attracted the attention of the bartender.

"I'll have what he's having. Doubled." The bartender nodded. "Are you having something, Luigi?" Samus asked. She had turned her head so that she could see him with her left eye. "You were here before me, yet I don't see a glass in your hand." Luigi, both too ashamed and too concerned to explain himself merely replied "I just-a got here. I used-a the back-a entrance."

Samus nodded, noticing the ice pack on his head in the process. "What happened to you?" Samus asked. Luigi could not believe that she was asking about his scrapes and busies while she herself was in such bad shape. Furthermore, was that humor _and _concern in her voice…for him? "Nothing," he began. Their drinks were delivered to them and the servant bowed as he left. "Don't go too far!" Samus ordered and the bartender bowed once more.

Luigi opened his ice bag and plinked two cubes into their glasses. That earned a chuckle from Samus. "What? You don't trust the ice here?" Luigi smiled at her and chuckled. "When-a you're a plumber, you-a learn a thing or two about-a bar water. Stick with the alcohol-a. It 's-a much better." Samus laughed as she lifted her glass. "Will do, Luigi. To us." She tilted her glass in his direction. Luigi nodded, and with a slight shade of rose on his cheeks touched glasses with the bounty hunter. "To us." They downed their drinks at the same time, slamming the glasses onto the counter. They were refilled by the bartender automatically.

"Say, Samus," Luigi began. Samus's head began to turn towards Luigi. "Oh, wait." Luigi, taking his glass with him, stood and swiftly walked to the left of Samus and sat beside her. Samus eyed him curiously. "What was that about?" She asked. "I didn't-a want you a-straining yourself." Luigi said before realizing how insulting that may have sounded. "Not to say you can't-a take care of yourself!" He chuckled. The unchanging look in Samus' eye made Luigi drink faster.

Samus laughed, and even draped an arm around Luigi's shoulders. "That's awfully sweet of you," Luigi felt his cheeks grow hotter as her face drew closer to his. "Fill me up." He spoke quickly to the bartender. He was complied with and drank again. Samus, who still had her arm draped over Luigi smiled. "What's wrong Lu?" Lu? No, one called him that. He was Luigi. Or Mario's little brother. Or Mario's worse half. Or even Mario's shadow warmer…

"Nothing." He turned to her and grinned. Her face was close. Very close. He had never noticed her eye color before or her smooth skin or…how this drink was taking effect faster than expected. Samus chuckled. "If you say so." She moved her arm, wincing in the process. "Ah," she muttered. Samus' single eye shot open as Luigi's gloved hands gripped her arm. "Luigi, that hur…" Luigi had a gentle hold of her arm and was massaging it. Samus slowly felt the blood in her arm flow smoothly again. "Thanks."

Luigi merely tipped his hat to her before turning back to the counter. "So…" Luigi began after Samus had downed three more glasses. "How'd-a that happen?" Luigi did not do as much as shift his eyes towards her. "I got cocky," Samus chuckled. "And challenged Ness, Pitt and Falcon to a three on one." Luigi looked up at her, given the height difference and all. "Why-a would-a you do that-a?"

Samus was taken by surprise. Luigi's voice was pleading; his body was fully turned to her and whether he knew it or not, his hand was working its way up her thigh. "Like I said," she repeated, feeling her face tingle. "I got cocky and tried to beat Falcon's record." Luigi 'ohed'. "You-a two still-a having that whole contest?" Samus sighed dryly. "It's more like a rivalry really. We've had it going since the first Smash gathering. It's kind of an inside thing really, between the two human intergalactic pilots." Luigi nodded slowly, absorbing everything she had said.

"I under-a stand." Luigi sighed dejectedly. "The best a simple plumber can-a anyway…" At that statement, Samus placed her cup down gently. "Lu," she began. Luigi did not seem to notice her. "Lu." She nudged his shoulder. He merely sank deeper into depression. Samus then had an idea, a smile working its way across her lips. "Lu…last chance to answer me…"

Samus gestured to the bartender. "Two bottles and two shot glasses." Samus was served before she finished her sentence. Samus slammed a bottle in front of Luigi, shaking him out of his stupor. "Mama-mia!" Luigi jumped. "Okay Lu, I don't know what's eating at you and you won't tell me what's wrong, so on to plane 'B'." "Plan-a B?" Luigi asked. Samus held the bottle near Luigi's face and leaned into him. Their faces were not even three inches away.

"Booze." Luigi gulped…

Eight bottles, four drunken songs, two bar fights and one hour later, Samus stumbled along the hallway of the Smash Mansion, bumping into the statues and pictures clumsily. She laughed, turning around to shush her follower. He laughed with her and mimicked her shushing noise. Samus' drunken legs gave out and she fell backwards. She was caught by her follower; however due to the height difference, he ended up groping the female bounty hunter.

Samus let out a small gasp of shock. She whipped her head around, her one angry eye falling upon a cherry red Luigi. Luigi couldn't move; he was pinned between Samus' body and a rather randomly placed statue of Link, giving a huge grin and a 'thumbs up'. This had to be the most awkward situation Luigi had ever found himself in. It was then that he noticed that Samus' eye no, longer held anger… Luigi gulped at the stare she gave him with her one lustful eye.

Okay, scratch that awkward moment in the hallway a few seconds ago. This awkward moment took all the meatballs. Luigi sat in Samus' bedroom; it was painted expertly; blending the colors blue and orange, orange representing her armor and blue her Zero Suit Luigi guessed, and had pictures of all of the different planets she had visited. He shuffled his feet, moving to the foot of the bed and turning his back away from the bathroom where Samus was 'freshening up'.

Luigi's heart was beating so fast that his chest was beginning to go numb. "What am I-a doing?" He whispered to himself. "I-a shouldn't-a be here. This is-a her room-a." Luigi, having no, other means of relieving anxiety, removed his trademark green cap and began wringing it as though it were wet. He gulped. "We're both adults-a. We're-a free to do as we-a please…"

He found himself sitting on the fence of this situation, unsure of what to do. "Well-a," he began. "She is-a really pretty. She and I have-a always gotten along pretty-a well-a." Luigi was so deep in thought that he did not notice the bathroom light go off. "No, I-a cannot-a do this. It's-a not the right thing-a to do. She has had too much to drink-a." Luigi laughed softly. "And so have I."

Luigi sighed as he placed his cap on his head. He did not hear Samus' bed squeak, nor did he feel her gaze behind him. "As-a much as-a I want this to a-happen, I will not-a take-" "Advantage of me?" Luigi jumped off of Samus' bed, frightened by her sudden intrusion. He ended up lying flat out on the floor, staring up at her ceiling. Luigi quickly found the ceiling less interesting as his vision cleared and a tall woman wearing a light blue night gown entered his view.

"Oh-a. Hello, Samus. I…uh, I-a didn't see you-a there." Luigi chuckled. As he looked up, he could not help but notice that he could look up Samus' night gown. He wanted to look away, to close his eyes or even cover his face with his hat, but found that he no longer controlled his eyelids. Temptation easily swayed him, and now he couldn't help but stare at Samus' underwear. Had there been even a tiny bit more light, he would be able to clearly see her…

"Hey, did you hear me?" Samus repeated s she nudged her foot into his shoulder. Luigi quickly made eye contact with her, hoping that she hadn't caught him staring. "Uh, no, I-a didn't-a quite catch that…" "I said, I heard your little monologue Lu," Samus walked out of Luigi's vision. Luigi found himself s8ittig upright before even thinking of doing so. As Samus walked towards her bed, swaying in a way Luigi hoped was normal, he could not help but stare at her figure.

Luigi gasped as Samus's body was illuminated by the moonlight creeping through her window. Her nightgown was see though, and she was _not_ wearing underwear. Luigi quickly closed his eyes. There was no, way this was real…

"Barkeep," The bartender turned his head lazily. "What is it?" His eyes snapped open as he recognized who had called him. "I'm sorry sir!" He bowed and strode quickly to his customer. "What'll you have, sir?" He glanced at the woman beside his customer. "And are you drinking as well, Princess?" He asked sweetly as he pulled out a glass. The Princess nodded.

"What are you having?" He asked cheerily. "Two-a Apple Ciders." The man spoke as the Princess clung to his arm. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mario, we're all out…" Mario seemed to cast a slight glare at the bartender. The bartender was mistaken; that was a look of disappointment, not anger on Mario's face…right? "What happened to the cider?" Princess Peach asked him sweetly.

"Well, there was another couple in here a while back. They drank for hours before starting several fights. I kicked them out, and they left singing 'We Are the Champions'." Mario sighed as Peach laughed. "They sound like a crazy pair. Was it Snake and Wolf? They are drinking buddies." Peach asked. "No, your highness. When I say couple, I mean couple like yourself and Mario."

Peach laughed. "I didn't know Link and Zelda were so wild." "Sorry again, your highness, but it wasn't those two." The bartender corrected. "Really? Well then, bartender, who is this crazy pair?" The bartender looked at Mario. "Well, it was your brother, Luigi sir. And he was with Samus Aran, the bounty hunter." Peach gasped. Mario looked up at the bartender. "Really?" Mario asked. "I'm one hundred percent sure it was those two. They might still be together right now…"

Luigi gulped. He was pinned down to Samus' bed by, well, Samus. "Samus, I-" "Lu," Samus cut him off. "You and I drank a combined total of twenty bottles of apple cider. Do you know how much alcohol is in apple cider? Zero. Or, at the very least, there was no alcohol in ours. Those fights we got into, the songs we sang, the fun we had was all ours. All real and all sober." Samus leaned down, her face hovering inches from Luigi's. "I was going to just call it a night after you dropped me off to my room…" Luigi couldn't believe it; she was blushing! "But when I almost fell in the hallway on account of my injuries and you…caught me." Luigi recalled the groping incident.

"And not only then, but at the bar. They way you massaged my arm wasn't just sensual, Lu…" Luigi gulped. Was she saying…? "For some time now, Lu-Luigi," Luigi felt his face heat up. His name wasn't Luigi to her, it was Lu… Wait, hadn't he thought the opposite of this earlier? "Luigi…I always had a thing for you." Whoa. "Wh-what?" Luigi asked.

"You're stuck in the shadow of your brother…" Samus stopped herself. Luigi turned his head away from her. "So-a I've been told-a." Luigi grumbled. "If-a this was all-a a ploy to break-a me, Samus, you'll have-a to try harder." Samus blushed once more. "I meant…I mean…" she stuttered. "I'm sorry." Luigi began to feel guilty. Here was Samus Aran, the hottest… no, the most beautiful bounty hunter in several galaxies pouring out her heart to Luigi, and he let some stupid sibling rivalry take over him and hurt her feelings?

"I always admired that you kept striving to make yourself known, to have a name of our own. " Samus whispered. "That's kind of why I became a bounty hunter." Samus sighed, sounding depressed. "I know you must like Daisy…" Samus began sadly. "But after all the fun we had tonight, I can't just walk away from you! So, please Luigi, for just tonight, can you be m-"

Samus' face flushed; her cheeks burning a bright red color as Luigi continued to press his lips against hers. Luigi pulled away, leaving Samus with a yearning for him even more. "I-a will be yours for-a…tonight." Luigi spoke in a hushed tone. Samus smiled and went to kiss him, finding her lips stopped by his finger. "But, only if-a you'll let me be-a yours for tomorrow as well-a. And-a every tomorrow after that." Samus stared into Luigi's eyes, her single good eye stinging with tears.

She nodded slowly. "D-deal." Luigi smiled. "B-but what about Daisy?" Samus asked. Luigi laughed. "I believe there's-a another man out-a there for her. Maybe even in the Smash-a Mansion. But we mustn't worry about-a anyone else but ourselves for now…" Luigi lifted his head, kissing Samus once more. Samus closed her eye, slipping easily into his arms and into a budding, beautiful relationship…

_Well, I think that went rather nicely. What do you think of it? Be sure to leave a review and let me know!_ _Footnotes: the '-a's' a the end of some words are a result of Luigi's thick Italian accent. Not my idea, by the way, that's the way it's been since he could talk. Second, I don't really say 'gosh golly' and things like that, it was just for effect. And finally, let me know if you'd want another one-shot pairing of characters in the Super Smash Brothers Universe via PM and I'll see what I can do. Thank you for reading._

_Xen Kenshin_


End file.
